Getting to know you...

You see the "positive" sign on a pregnancy test. From this moment on, you get used to the idea of a baby, and soon your swelling belly is proof. There are hundreds of books to read- from "what to expect" to"baby wise" to "dr.sears." You obsess with things like attachment parenting and labor, what stroller to buy and where to give birth. Sisters and friends bombard you with baby paraphernalia. You think are SO ready for this. But there is something you can't prepare for or research. What these pregnancy books are missing is the fact that you don't actually know your child yet. When you give birth, a little tiny bundle is placed into your arms. A divine gift, a perfect stranger. Although you've been feeling this creature kick inside you for months, this is where the true journey begins. The journey of getting to know your child. 

It's happened to me three times already. The moment I see my baby and hold him- "who are you, sweet child?". The first few weeks and months are a precious time of figuring out my baby. What does like? Why does he cry? Does he like to be naked? To ride in the car? To be swaddled? Will he cry in the bath? What does each cry mean? 

I feel like by the time Samuel turned 3 months, we had a good grasp of who he was. Not just a baby, not just a preemie, but what his character and temperament were. He's both similar and different from his big brothers. He's his own person. He loves being naked and bath time. The car normally lulls him to sleep. He his addicted to his mama and breast milk. He loves his feet rubbed!

With the big boys, the journey to get to know them continues. How do they feel love? How do they love? What makes them angry? When do they feel proud? What do they need when they are feeling sad? Because they are so individual, it's different for each of them. Alexander loves quality time- playing lego or showing us his creations. He feels hurt when someone raises their voice. He loves small gifts, like markers or a new notebook. He is affectionate with me. Isaac loves having a playmate. He enjoys hearing how proud we are of him and watching him do new tricks. He is mostly affectionate with his papa. He cries when he is hurt or tired. 

Part of my job, as the mama, is to know them and know them well. My first and foremost job is to love them. Knowing how they feel love is an important piece to this. It's how I can connect with them. How I can reach them. And how they can feel connected to me! The journey will continue.... ❤️