Samuel is 6 months old!

In the past six months, since the day Samuel was born, I have felt a slew of emotions... Fear, helplessness, guilt, pride, anxiety, anger, happiness, sadness, joy, love. This half- year has gone by so extremely fast, I can barely believe it! Right now, as we celebrate Samuel's 6 month birthday, what I feel most is grateful. 

After the initial shock of giving birth prematurely, my next fear was bringing Samuel home. Since I'm such a planner (and worrier), I wanted to know for certain what our winter months would hold. Would we stay healthy?! Was my biggest concern. The family get togethers and school environments were breeding grounds for sickness. I really dreaded having my premature baby come down with something that would land him back in the hospital. It is now March and Samuel just got over his first illness, an ear infection. But that was it!!! Yay, we made it! Now, even if germs come into our home, I know at least that Samuel is stronger and bigger and can fight it better. 

Grateful. I'm grateful that I have a healthy, breastfeeding baby to occupy my arms. I'm grateful that despite being premature, I know in my heart that Samuel arrived at exactly the right time. I'm grateful for my husband, who has made this transition to three kids as easy for me as possible. I'm grateful he doesn't dwell on the hardships we've had, rather he lives fully and celebrates the milestones. I'm grateful when I hear Samuel cry, coo and babble, these sounds are full of life, unlike his labored breathing at birth. I'm grateful for my family, who has shown so much care and love for us the past few months. I'm grateful that I have three beautiful boys to call my own....

Samuel's half birthday is sentimental for me. Saying goodbye to his infancy and welcoming this "baby" time now before we call him a toddler. I feel sentimental, but grateful.