Three Little Monkeys!: Progressing

By Wednesday, September 10, Samuel was off his cpap machine and they put him on high-flow oxygen with a nasal cannula. I was there when they took off the cpap. I'm so glad I was because it was the first time I had seen his eyes open! The cpap had been so squeezed on his face that it kept his eyes shut. Seeing his eyes open was one of my most treasured moments! He blinked a few times, looked around, and I could just tell he looked at me and was thinking, "Are you my mama?" I couldn't stop smiling once I saw his eyes open! Being off the cpap also meant I could hold him more. We did kangaroo care for the first time. It was glorious! They also could start giving him feedings through a tube.

I felt really good overall. I had been trying hard at being "present" for my boys at home and then giving Samuel all my thoughts and prayers when I was with him. (I think the NICU sees more prayers than a church!) . I would be home every evening for dinner, then would tuck the boys in and then head to the hospital for a few hours. A neat thing that the nicu does is provide cameras in the rooms... That way you can log in on the internet and see your baby from home. We pulled this up on the computer got the boys to see and they loved it! It was also so great for my mom and sister who were out of the country to see him.

By Thursday, they already took Samuel off the high-flow oxygen. Wo hoo! They increased his feeds and started weaning him off of IV fluids. By Friday, they had him totally off of IV fluids and he was doing so well that I could try to breastfeed him! The first time I put him to breast felt so natural and like such a relief. Normally a baby is put to breast immediately after birth. We had waited 5 days, which felt like an eternity. Although his lungs were doing much better, Samuel was still having some apnea- where his oxygen rate and heart rate would decrease. Slight stimulation would correct that, and they didn't have to intervene too much.

Samuel graduated on Saturday! He was moved from the NICU to the special care nursery. There he stayed for another week and a half. He really needed to get all of his feeds orally and mature out of his apnea episodes before coming home.

My mom flew home early from Vienna and arrived on Monday, September 15. Every night until Samuel came home, we more or less held vigil at the hospital. I would always go there during the day, to rock, hold, and feed Samuel. I would try to get an update from the doctor. Then I would come home for dinner with the family, and head back to the hospital in the evening. I was on a 3-hour schedule with the breast pump and our freezer was starting to overflow with breast milk! None of the nurses ever gave us an indication of when we could go home. It was a wait and see situation. Every day. Alexander and Isaac were doing great, but I knew the hectic schedule wasn't great for them. Tony did so well at keeping them grounded while things seemed to be spinning for me.

This was getting old though. Samuel was getting stronger and I really wanted to bring my baby home! He slowly started taking full feedings for his bottles, but would often sleep at the breast. I remember one evening, he did so well breastfeeding on and off for 45 minutes. I was elated! It felt like a "real baby" breastfeeding. But then next day he fell right asleep on me. It was hard not to get discouraged. I figured he was so relieved to be on his mommy that he didn't want to eat, he just wanted to cuddle and relax with me.

Finally his feedings were picking up. We were told to schedule his car seat test. (This was a good sign!). One doctor said "looks like he could go home Wednesday" but I wasn't convinced. I held my breath. So we showed up at the hospital with the carseat (and I snuck in a "going home" outfit in my bag just in case). He passed the carseat test! Wo hoo! I was a nervous wreck until the doctor came around and said "Okay, he's ready to be discharged. He's graduating today!" YAY!!!! I still had a nervous pit in my stomach. Really, was he mine to take home?! Without those cords? No more beeps and whistles and alarms from the monitors? No more checking in with a nurse? I could barely believe it.

We waited patiently for two more s.l.ow. hours while the nurse got our discharge papers ready. We called our moms to give them the good news (and to put champagne on the ice!), Tony picked up fun balloons, we signed papers, and finally. Finally! On September 24, a rainy day, we left through those special care nursery doors WITH our baby!!